belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
