I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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