New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
my liver is dry heaving
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
where are my eyebrows?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
