would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he thought i was a dude.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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