I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
