marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
