you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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