hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
