We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Pants are for mortals
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
