OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Randomize
