i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
