I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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