it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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