she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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