I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
