The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
