U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize