So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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