dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
