I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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