oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
