3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
