put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
