She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
