What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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