Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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