Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
