when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize