If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
