can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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