How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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