there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
