I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
