btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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