I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize