How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I need to sanitize my soul.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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