yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
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