mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This house was built for laser tag.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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