He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
