The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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