he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
