I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
