I need help removing her.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize