Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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