is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
