You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
