So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
