I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
