I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
