OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize