the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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