using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
