I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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