Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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