sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize