how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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