My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
