So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
