Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
