He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
