I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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