so explain again why im purple
no
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
